What I love about engines is they are a great image for manhood. MORE POWER… right? Think of yourself as an engine. To go from Zero to Sixty in a… dodge demon it takes a desire (press pedal) and then a response – engine RPM’s increase. Then a down shift, a lurch, a down shift, a surge, and a downshift. By that time you are cruising at 60+ MPH.
So how does this apply to a man? Well think about yourself as the engine. If you recal from my www.uncommonfathers.com/quality_of_life post you will remember that I defined my vision for life as “enjoying our grandchildren being raised in stable Christian homes. So my engine’s (me) purpose is to get me there. It’s to take me to that destination.
Unfortunately, I cannot rush that destination all too much, and if you desire for your kids to rush into parent hood, I feel bad for you son. Lol.
So, sustianability?
YOu have heard the cliche of “life is a marathon, not a sprint” – this is all about sustainability.
Our engine needs to be maintained, like any machine. We need rest time. We need oil changes, we need new filters, and new fuel. We cant just operate all the time.
in your career, you being and its like you smashed the gas pedal. You are moving through days, chasing success almost as if you were climbing out of a hole. But then you get married, buy a house (that is a good order… for our younger audience). Usually when the kids show up, men get a reflex in their back side that stiffens the spine and seems to send them out of the cave to kill the wild beasts. Our provider instinct kicks in, which is good.
But self care is a pre-req of other care. If you are running so hard that you take no time for your mental peace, personal hobbies, etc. how are you going to get to the end of your life in health?
About the time you start having kids you are at astage of your career where you have readily accessible margin that you can (and should) make available for your family.
I knew a guy that instead of letting his machine maintain the 55 MPH pace with little to no strain on the engine, he felt it best to take on a new thing that required 5500 RPMS and a few gear shifts… right at the moment he was needed at home the most – his 3rd kid was born a few weeks after he accepted the new job…
Career sustainability means that you embrace a vision of professional success that first and foremost supports and compliments your broader life mission. It’s wicked hard to dance the line, but if you can remain loyal to the truth that we are called to be in the world but not “of the world” then you can refuse the world’s lens that measures your worldly accomplishments and judges you based on your professional and monetary success.
It ain’t what you make, its how you spend it. If you haven’t noticed yet the concepts of Quality of Life, Sustainability and FInancial Independence are interconnected and interdependent.
So for sustainability, I remind you to think of the old lesson of opportunity cost:
You can have anything you want in this world, just not everything. Remember that the worlds success yard stick has measurable milestones – quarterly reports, annual figures, growth %, job effectiveness reports, etc. The things that really matter – quality of your marriage, the depth of your father child relationships, your impact on other men, creating memories and traditions that your kids and grandkids will carry on are so much harder to measure as progress is seen in seasons of life not weeks or quarters.
Your children mature slowly. If you are too busy it will feel all at once. If you are overly focused on making more money (hopefully not because you are over obligated…) you will miss the slow transition from small child to pre-teen and be totally take off guard when Teens arrive.
No one remembers how your Q4 numbers were from 2011. But your kids and wife will remember that Holiday Season, and the times you were present to make memories.
Remember that the tortoise always wins. Money ain’t no thang. Death and Taxes are coming.
Make time for margin for your family. Review your career aspirations and make certain that your career can serve your family (not the other way around). Make adjustments hat can assist you in enjoying sustainable career growth.
Patience is how you win.
Small actions repeated over time add up to excellence.
Be well!
