The grind of life can easily wear down our sensibility for excellence in our personal and families life. To a man… on your deathbed you wont think about your golf game, the possessions you have accumulated, the professional mountains you climbed and dragons you slayed. You will ask about your relationships and family. So what is excellent in the context of relationships and family legacy?
Just this week I witnessed excellence in golf course management and I was able to meet the best living golfer. 
When we take those things against the very regular others in the same space, we can see easily, that they are excellent. The club I play golf at pales in comparison to The Bears Club. The rookies on the PGA tour (while very good at golf) don’t measure up to the ‘excellence’ of Jack Nicklaus.
In a professional context, I came into contact with some men who are at the top of their game in their trade. A boat dealer, who takes the extra mile and prepares his buyers for the ongoing commitment to excellence that a luxury boat demands. I interacted with an investment banker who over time built up a lengthy resume of excellent deals for one of the largest banks on earth. I interacted with a road contractor who has finished his last 3 projects ahead of schedule and under budget.
All of these men were excellent professionally, it is easy to see and measure. The clock of professional excellence, like The Rolex above doesn’t lie.
What about when the lines are blurred? What about when the measurements are intangible, like a relationship or a legacy?
Can we clearly call one dad or another excellent. A husband? I interacted with a dad who admitted that he had let his marriage slip and after an intense 16 week session of marriage counselling, he admits to the fact that it takes work. I interacted with one dad who struggles to interact with his teenage daughter but admits to using technology when home and years of not building the roads for communication to flourish.
Our family’s and spouses can give us grace as we pursue excellence outside of our homes, to the point of enabling or condoning poor performance at home, as it relates to our interaction and investment into our families and marriages. We all have the platitude statements of “my family is my priority” or “i’ll do anything for my wife” or “my kids know I love them,” etc.
This Memorial Day as you prepare to enjoy a long weekend, I encourage you to take 20 minutes and reflect on your relationships with your family and spouse.
What are 3 habits you can implement into your daily and weekly routine that will clearly demonstrate their primacy in your life?
Here are 3 things I try to do on the “reg”
- Rise before my family to spend time in reflection, prayer, and devotion.
- Schedule and plan a date night every 2 weeks – request my wife arrange a sitter.
- Ensure the home is clean of my clutter and that the kids clean up after themselves between each activity – when I am home.
After a year of doing these things, your goal should be to fill in the blanks with specific answers to the questions below:
My wife knows I love her because (deliver this one in a card at valentines…):
My children know i love them because (great birthday message):
Show me your calendar and your checkbook – I will show you your priorities… – Zig Ziglar
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit. – Aristotle
Enjoy being uncommon.