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More than one day

By now Mother’s Day has passed and we are all done with asking every mom around how her special day was, how yummy brunch was,  what kinds of things she received. Ours was a lovely day. But now its wednesday and its back to “life.”

I am working to make every day like mothers day. Not an over the top day of platitudes and flowers, but I am committed to doing the small daily effort needed to express my commitment to our partnership and life together. This goes beyond romantic love, which runs deep for my wife, but this is about being a good partner in life, in marriage and in parenting.

The best way I have discovered to be consistent with this initiative is with small daily activities and becoming more intentional with our time.

Just like i try to plan out my professional time, I am focused on ensuring our personal lives are well managed and evenly paced.

Here are some ways I try to be a good life, marriage and parenting partner:

  1. Rise before the family, get some quality “me time” in, read my devotional, and exercise.

  2. Share in the house chore responsibilities. I like to clean toilets, dishwashers, change sheets, manage roomba, and cook our dinners, manage outdoor aspects of home.

  3. Bath time and bedtime prep

  4. Lead the morning launch routine, which starts the night before.

  5. Try to keep a bi-weekly date night (schedule permitting).

We have 2 calendars that our family operates, I call this “Mom’s Command Board” where we coordinate our life. These are white boards purchased on Amazon that have transformed our organization and peaceful flow through our chaos. We have some basic rules about how things get scheduled:

  1. Politely decline same week extra curricular invites. Things like “happy hour,” networking, sports opportunities, etc. If its important to me, I would have planned it in advance and been looking forward to it. This one thing alone improved our lifestyle immensely. It was hard to do and hard to train my “no” muscle to say “Thank you, but I already have plans.” As opposed to this hilarious list of ways to say no.

  2. Try to have no more than 3 out of home late weeknights. Think things like kids activities, dad’s meetings, date night, etc. This one is harder and harder to keep, with 4 kids, but we are doing our best.

  3. Dad has a strict “Launch” and “Land” time, each day. If I need to deviate I give as much notice as my “best customer” would receive, well in advance. This is a respect issue. If you aren’t communicating with your wife about your schedule, start.

Your life and schedule are different. Your professional requirements are unique to you. So your version of “organized” and “peaceful” will look different. I only share mine so you can see what works.

Step one – discuss with your wife ways you can help her with the daily tasks of running the family.

Step two – discuss with your wife ways to improve your planning and scheduling so expectations are clear and easier for you to meet.

Step three – Execute. Repeat weekly.

Good Luck with that #Dadstress!