Remember notebook paper from grade school? There were big margins. When we were taught to write, we were told to leave “margin.” In printing and graphic design they call the margin the “bleed” so there is room for error.
With being a husband and a father we need to create margin in our life. I like to use the analogy of “walls” that box in my professional time to ensure I have margin available for the “whatever’s” that seem to come with each day as a family man.
By protecting this “margin” space in my schedule, I am better able to be spontaneous with my kids. I can be present easier because the time is specifically unaccounted for, except as margin for my family.
Look at your schedule and see where you can create margin. The best times are on the “margins” of your day, like morning routines and evening wind downs. Specifically for me, I rise at 5:15 to ensure I get some “me” time in to read my devotional, peruse the paper, enjoy some coffee and be ready to greet the family as they wake. We also have a defined morning routine for school drop off that ensures the kids aren’t starting their days rushed. I use my iphones alarm feature and set multiple alarms that the kids know come with expectations. “Shoes on” by 6:55, “God and Me” Devotional time at 7:02, “In the Car” by 7:14.
At the end of the day i have a “stop time” alarm. My wife and I discussed and her expectation is that I am home before 6 and ideally around 5:30. That means my “wrap it up” alarm goes off at 5:10 and my “LEAVE FOR DINNER” alarm goes off at 5:25 and the “YOU’RE LATE” goes off at 5:40. I try to have that last one go off as I walk through the door.
Part of the margin is being present when present. I make sure to put the tech away when I am home. I also drastically reduced the notifications features for all the apps in my phone so I am not tempted with interruptions. I see the tech as a tool that I can use, not the other way around…
I hope you make some margin for your family and just enjoy the planned “down time” to be with your kids. The magic is in the the small and ordinary moments.